All the ways to die trying

Mon, 22 Dec 2003 03:33:38 GMT

sorry guys... i dont trust this journal anymore

my new one is www.livejournal.com/users/veeronica

:)

Sun, 21 Dec 2003 21:57:18 GMT

sorry again for all the comments im finding out more were posted so please ignore them:/

and thank you Gabbie my love for helping me get things back in order ur truly a god.... bffe i love you:D

Sat, 20 Dec 2003 14:48:51 GMT

somone got into my fucking journal and changed my shit.... i have a feeling i know who it was fucking faggot.... ignore any comments posted from me and the last entry read.... sorry:/

about face step to attention.....

Mon, 15 Dec 2003 02:04:09 GMT

This weekend sucked... enough said.

Friday we had a game... my last game to cheer in, at least i can look forward to competition... then me and Jer got into a fight so i called Lee and she came over and Jeremy called and was like can i come over for a few and so i gave in and Lee fell asleep on my bed and me and Jeremy resolved our fight and made up:) then we took lee home cuz she was going to Ray's... so me and jeremy sat around then he left and all saturday i listened to my parents bitch and scream at each other that was sooo gay..

me and nicole were gonna hang out so i could get out of here but my parents wouldnt let me so i sat around... sorry Nic i love you.. over break for sure! so i talked to Jer and he made me feel better and what not...

Today i cleaned and sat at Jers... then i came home and w/e, tomorrow me and Dee are gonna hang out after practice im so excited!!! :D now im wondering why Jeremy hasnt called and who is on his phone bc they didnt answer... :(

anyways... this week will be alright i suppose and this weekend will kick total ass! hell yeah

Jeremys still not home.. what is the world coming to?

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 20:18:47 GMT

I AM: Bored
I WANT: Food.. Jeremy and lee
I HAVE: a wonderful life
I WISH: Jer called... or Lee
I HATE: People who talk shit.. liars... unnatural red hair and seafood.
I FEAR: losing Jeremy
I HEAR: Football on tv
I SEARCH: for the life i want
I WONDER: why my toes are cold
I REGRET: a certain day in august... not realizing i have it so good.
I LOVE: Jeremy Micheal Rhodes Jami Lee and Brit.
I ACHE: in thee back
I ALWAYS: love jeremy
I AM NOT: pretty or skinny
I DANCE: rarely... unless no ones looking.
I SING: in the shower and when no ones home
I CRY: when i pms
I AM NOT ALWAYS: on time
I WRITE: all the time
I WIN: life and clue.
I LOSE: to jeremy rarely
I CONFUSE: myself
I NEED: slippers
I SHOULD: drink something

YES or NO:

x. YOU KEEP A DIARY: Lj babay
x. YOU LIKE TO COOK: yup
x. YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: definately
x. YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: how can u not believe what you feel?

THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: Jeremy
INSIDE JOKE: too many....

DO YOU...?

HAVE A CRUSH: jeremy
WANT TO GET MARRIED: to jeremy
GET MOTION SICKNESS: rarely
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: occasionally about sum foods
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: eh...
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: <3
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: reddish blonde and brown
EYE COLOR: brown, shit brown.
BIRTHPLACE: Royak Oak, MI

FAVORITES:
NUMBER: 7255680
COLOR: green
DAY: april 11th
MONTH: october
SONG(S): eh... too many
SEASON: fall
DRINK: sprite

PREFERENCES:
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: depends
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: hot chocolate
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: milk
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: depends...

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? yeah bc of my gay dad
HELPED SOMEONE? jeremy...
BOUGHT SOMETHING? no
GOTTEN SICK? ive been sick..
GONE TO THE MOVIES? watched some
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
SAID 'i love you'?: about 20 million times
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: naw
TALKED TO AN EX?: no
MISSED AN EX? : no
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: Here
HAD A SERIOUS TALK?: yeas
MISSED SOMEONE? Yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? Yes
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? yeah
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? nope

Would you ever:
1. Eat a bug?: depends what kind and if im getting payed
2. Bungee jump?: Yeah
4. Kill someone? maybe
5. Kiss someone of the same sex? No more than the cheek
6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? nope i like the cock
7. Parachute from a plane? Sure
8. Walk on hot coals? maybe
9. Go out with someone for their looks? looks alone??? naw
11. Be a vegetarian? ya
12. Wear plaid with stripes? perhapes if u couldnt see one of the patterns like socks or undies
13. IM a stranger? ya
14. Sing Karaoke? yeah
15. Get drunk off your Ass? yup only if jer was ther tho
16. Shoplift? five finger discount..
17. Run a red light? yeah
18. Star in a porn video? with Jeremy
19. Dye your hair blue? def
20. Be on Survivor? yeah
21. Wear makeup in public?: everyday
22. Not wear makeup in public? depends where im going
23. Cheat on a test? i always do
24. Make someone cry? depends who sometimes its funny haha
25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? not unless jeremys 10 years older then me
26. Stay up all night? yup
27. Wait for a girl/guy, and not go out with anyone else till you get together? no need to wait... ive already got him

yay kazaa is back:D

Sun, 07 Dec 2003 14:18:52 GMT

This week was alright i suppose... not bad definately. On friday i was supposed to have the baby but Mrs. Siedlak wasnt there.. o well So i went to Jers and we sat around and rented eyes wide shut.. so we watched that and then Duke came over for Jesse and what not so me and Jer sat out in the living room with them and then it was bed time... On saturday i went to bowling with Jer and we went back to his house for like an hour and we woke up jesse on accident lol sry:/ then we went to my house and decorated my house for christmas and put the tree up and what not.. then we sat around and downloaded songs on kazaa cuz i finally got it back YAY.. then we rented sleepy hollow but didnt watch it hah then we played life... i love jeremy lol.. then he had to go home. So this morning i woke up becuase Jer called to say bye bye cuz he was going to work lol.... thats about it.

Its so intrieging....

Tue, 02 Dec 2003 00:45:14 GMT

A is for - Age: 14
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Jer babay
C is for - Career in future: music journalist
D is for - Dad's name: Gilbert
E is for - Essential item to bring to a party: asprin
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: Not fond of favorites..
G is for - Guy/Girls you've kissed: you know those guys... and Jer:D
H is for - Hometown: New Baltimore, Michigan
I is for - Instruments you play: air guitar
J is for - Job title: does babysitter count?
K is for - Kids: adopted..
L is for - Living arrangement: At home with parents and Older Sis
M is for - Mom's name: Pat
N is for - Number of people you've slept with:
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: none
P is for - Phobia[s]: Losing Jeremy and Never truly fulfilling my dreams.
Q is for - Quote you like: ...
R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: 8 months and going strong
S is for - Sexual position:
T is for - Time you wake up: 5 on weekdays and between 9 and 10 on weekends
U is for - Unique trait(s): bright red lips
V is for - Vegetable you love: Cucumbers and tomatos
W is for - Worst habit: biting open my lips and holding grudges
X is for - Xrays you've had: teeth.. stomach (many a time)
Y is for - Yummy food you make: soup... yum
Z is for - Zodiac sign: Gemini

Tue, 02 Dec 2003 00:08:20 GMT

Muhahah my life is so great and its taken all of today to realize it. Im so content with everything and all of my friends... o geeze. Its funny you say something so little and people get pissed at you but not at the other 4 people who said the exact same thing o well it shows how people are diliberately looking for a reason to get mad but i dont care. This is 5 year old kids shit so I'll play along. MMMMhhhhMMM anyways i have a fever and a headache i think Britney gave me something. O well its probably only 24 hours. ;)

-:-B e s t F r i e n d s-:-
means you'll get what you deserve.

^^^ Lee I love you baby ^^^^

Ahh my parents are arguing what a bunch of homos... whatever. I miss jeremy. Lol i think I'll go call him.

FREE!!!!!!!!!! FREE FALLING!!!

Thu, 27 Nov 2003 15:14:46 GMT

anyways... this break has been good so far, on tuesday me and jeremy sat around because t hat is our daily tuesday ritual. Yesterday we sat around then went and got my fucking cast off!!!! o yes its true... im so excited. I cant wait till i can run again. Then we went and seen Gothika... it was so scary.. EEP! We seen the lovely Heather and Erica and Trisha o yes it was a fiesta... then when leaving the movies we watched Jeremy Loizos get arrested for throwing a lobster. That was odd for sure. Now i have awoken to the lovely thanksgiving cheer of my parents fighting... wanna no what im thankful for??? Jeremy. and maybe some of my friends but only the ones i like.Yup now i sit on the computer peeling loads of dead skin off of my foot

WHOO!!!!!!

Hum hummmmm Hum

Sun, 23 Nov 2003 19:53:38 GMT

Hmm i swear I hate some people. I could name 3 people easily that i wouldnt mind watching die. ha it funny though because one day those people will be nothing im almost sure of it. Most people from Anchor Bay wont really amount to anything anyways. Thats okay because as soon as i hit 18 ill be at NYU. guarenteed. anyways.. this is how the weekend went.

Friday~ o yes I came home from school and showered then me and Jer went to see Bye Bye Birdie... it was sooo long. It didnt end until 10:30 but it was kool cuz i seen my melly:D

Saturday~ mmmm i didnt wake up till noon which was kool, then Jer cam over and we sat around at my house then went with my mom to VG's and to get Burger King.. yum. After we came back to my house and sat around, ate some more food then went to see Cat in The Hat. Rob and Alex were there so after the movie Rob asked us to hang out.WE seen AJ Nick and Chelsea that was kool.I also seen the lovely Lee and Casey YAY for Lee!anyways... So we sat up at Wendys with Nick K and his 2 step brothers... we listened to Nick play his guitar then Rob and Alex left to have an eating contest so we called my mom and dropped Jer off at home.

Sunday~ woke up and cleaned... then did my homework which was surprisingly easy.. YAY for easy homework and such. I showered and just got done getting ready.. o yeah and i made my christmas list... i asked for over 900 dollars worth of stuff... but im guarenteed a lot of it which is kool. Now me and Jer are gonna go sit at his house when he gets off work and then go see Elf. YAY for Elf.:)

2 days and 38 minutes until my cast comes off....WHOOOO!!!!!!!

I <3 Jer... and someother people... like LEE!!! and.. AJ and.. ROb and well you get the point i love most of you;)

Thu, 20 Nov 2003 23:18:11 GMT

The scariest part of death is when you realize your not scared anymore.

ashleys fuckin gorgeous

Sun, 16 Nov 2003 04:07:00 GMT

OospitupoO: i wish i looked like you
Vees FuN Sn: yeah thats ass
Vees FuN Sn: i hate myself
OospitupoO: and had your gawd dammned body
Vees FuN Sn: that fat nasty one
Vees FuN Sn: yeah its kool:-P

ashley is so amazing.... she needs to realize it before i kill ehr and take her hott body

Grade point average= about a 3.9

Thu, 13 Nov 2003 00:29:34 GMT

I stayed home sick today, it was gay.

Happy Birthday Gee!!!!!

2 weeks until i get my cast off (3:30 pm on Wed. Nov 26)

Report Card:
Int Math II- A-

Spanish Hnrs.- A+

Child Dev.- A+

History I- A

Biology- A

Int. English- A-

If i smile and dont believe...

Tue, 11 Nov 2003 02:06:44 GMT

HAHAH... just joking.

This weekend i umm.... dyes my hair back to brown with some blonde... and cut it real short... totally opposite from the original plan but i like it a lot.

I met Jers familia on saturday that was kool... and i slept some and ate some... that was good also.

Rumor has it that some people be talkin shit, according to them my new name is Veroniwhore.... hmmmm thats okay one day they'll get whast coming to them, its called Karma.

Whatever.... tomorrow is mine and Jers 7 months :D i love him. One day we shall be married.

me and rob are talking right now, i miss him im glad we are talking bc i have to say hes one of my favorites.. i love ya hunn and u and lesa will get married one day too ;D thats how us playas roll...

2 weeks and 2 days till the cast comes off, yes im counting down.

like water in a jar...

Wed, 05 Nov 2003 22:58:37 GMT

This week has actually been alright... which is kool. It seems like lately everyone is getting into serious relationships, especially my close friends which is kool bc now me and jer can chill with them.

I got the bottom of my bellybutton pierced yesterday with Jer... it hurts:( but it looks awesome like fuck.

Yesterday was also a half day so i went to Jers and chilled with lil JJ and Byrge that was kool bc them too are awesome.. and me and jeremy ate lots of pizza and played tony hawk pro skater 4.. i make the skaters and he makes them do tricks and shit muhahah its so fun.

Today i realized im not as ugly nor as fat as i always thought i was.. dont think im concieted i still no im not the best looking but ya know...i sorta want to be a model, that would be so awesome.

i love country music... hmmmmm it makes me all giddy

im getting my hair did on sunday... im getting it back to lighter blonde with some black highlights fo sho;D

is that it??? i believe so... o yes and good luck to nicoles mommy i hope everything goes good and she feels better soon :) i love ya both

The refuge that you built to flee..

Wed, 29 Oct 2003 21:38:18 GMT

::he:: said he'd call... no surprise he didn't. its fine. Things have changed between us, i hate change. I wish people would realize what they've become. including me. i hate this, its almost like living in hell.

schools been okay lately minus the cast. 29 days until its off.

I have intentions of getting the bottom of my bellybutton pierced this weekend. good shit.

Jers band is starting, good for him. I hope it makes him happy. seriously.

I hate some people so much, mostly girls. I love jami lee tho shes my bffe fo sho. xoxo babes.

i feel like things would get better if i would just let them, i dont understand why i cant let them.

Belsea redid the journal bc shes a goddess and i truly love her Beronica + Belsea = :)

Hmmm.

ive gotten fat over the past year. its grosse. ill lose weight once i can run again.

thats it.

eh...

Sun, 26 Oct 2003 19:42:18 GMT

survey
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I loveable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. Do you consider me a good friend?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Would you make a move on me?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Do I cross your mind at least 2 times a day?

everyone else had one so i wanted one too

Tue, 14 Oct 2003 20:28:33 GMT

dude livejournals are gay but that could be bc i have no life and nothing to write about.... eh

homecoming was pretty kool for a change i got to actually talk to Nicole but that doesnt neccesarily mean anything... i went over her house on friday which was kool bc i seriously miss the shit out of her... anyways

nothing else has happened... mine and jeremys 6 motnhs was on homeocming and his birthday is thursday!! YAY:) muhahah

yup thats it

we're loyal like brothers...

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 23:38:15 GMT

It's amazing what one day can do to your mind...

Today i thought about Nicole... not Nicole now, Nicole about o i dont know.. 6 months ago?

but thats sumthing else...

i wrote my paper for english.. i feel so smart when i write lol

then i went to practice and i realized how little i mean to the team... and how bad shirley really REALLY sucks... and how much my coach and her daughter hate me.... and like 3 other people.

and........ how nicole is the only flyer who has ever gotten complimented on how she flies :/

also... if we cant have an assistant coach *cough Joann cough* then why can we have Helen at all of our practices and games... shes not even 18... im confused!!!

homecoming is this weekend... our plans are kind of blurry.. o well.

I hate everybone in your body except mine

Fri, 03 Oct 2003 20:26:07 GMT

~~ Im crippled :) ~~

Yesterday was our first game we got to do extensions.... which was really REALLY kool until one of the stunts went wrong and i fell.... i got to go the hospital and then i got a cool lil air cast bc my ankle is broken (aka severely sprained)

It sucks i only have 1 crutch.... maybe ill get another one this weekend:D

going to school sucked except i got to see Jer:)

and i dont get to cheer for a month....

or stunt for like 2 months... if not more.

Eh... life turns out so shitty sometimes.

Shmmmooooo

Mon, 29 Sep 2003 00:12:51 GMT

So.....

I dunno what has happened lately...

This week was long and gay and boring... on the half day i went to thee lovely jennas :) always terrific and i finally got to meet Lesa. Shes a nice girl :):) im happy for Rob.

Shits going around... jackie insana is telling people im pregnant thast so gay... not to mention a lie. I plan on being a virgin for a while thanx.

Hmmmm the bonfire was friday... LMFAO me Jer and Ben left around 9 got stuck in the woods... ended up at the country inn... and played at VG's then i went home at like 10... that was the funnest most stress free day ive ever had.. muhaha. (thank you jesse)

Saturday i woke up and went bowling with Jer.. then Sarah came over and we ordered pizza and worked on our history paper while Jeremy slept on the floor... hes so cute:) After we finished that we dropped off Sarah and me Jer and my sister went out to eat at Olive Garden then to the mall to buy shoes for my dress... after that i went to Jer's and fell asleep and came home around 11.

This morning i woke up after having the wierdest dream about Eliott. Than I cleaned my room and finsihed my homework and talked to Jer.... Now Jesse's on the phone so im waiting for him to get off so me and Jeremy can talk some more lol... thast about it

homecoming =13 days YAY..... also the night of mine adn jeremys 1/2 year

Byes....

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 13:31:53 GMT

im fucked up... seriously i need help.

Hola!!!!!!

Sat, 20 Sep 2003 13:14:28 GMT

I haven't been on in a couple days but its cool...

Yesterday me and Lee went and got my homecoming dress and shit... its pretty awesome. No details tho its a surprise.

Yesterday i realized how all the "popular" kids have so much fun and like everyday they all hang out and do stuff instead of just sitting around, and every weekend they hang out and drink and have fun and its like where the hell is the fun in my life?? i think somebody stole it last year bc i used to have it, seriously i did.

I realized this fine morning that i love life no matter how bad it gets... and i found somebody who feels thee exact sameway about everything as i do.. now is it me or isnt that thew qualities u need in a best friend? i think i found another soulmate best friend along with Gabbie, thanx Lee:)

I also realized how little i meant to some people.. this isn't a fighting thing or mad thing so if anyone knows who im talking about dont say im fuckin tlaking shit. I just got sad bc you supposedly menat so much to them (sisters) in a sense.. and now they've moved on and dont even care... i agree with just about everyone this year that friends arent forever. Its really sad that that statement is true... its one more thing that makes people hate the world. All i can say to that person is tha im sorry.

Anyways... yesterday was the bonfire and by the looks of it everybody went xcept me.... again. But what do i know maybe they didnt. i dont kare i had fun... i went to sleep at 9:30 fuck yeah.

enough is enough though... im going to shower and get ready for jeremys.

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 23:55:43 GMT

Homecoming plans...

me, liz, you, jer, ley, kyle, ashley, dick, jenna, nic, jesse, and give or take a few for any dates that might come up in the limo

15 seater limo.. everyone donates 15-20 bucks if ur riding with us.

Apple bees reservations... nicoles job:) meet up with the marcy clan!

after that we party:)

Sun, 14 Sep 2003 14:33:17 GMT

y is gabbies head my backround?

*i dont know*

I talked to Ana last night about sum serious stuff... thanx for tlaking to me. I need to straighten out my life. I had intentions of quitting cheerleading, but im giving it a few more tries. I dont want to be a quitter, it seems i give up on everything; and in return everyone gives up on me. Thanks, but i cant complain i do deserve it.

Lately ive done nothing but cheerleading and chill with Jeremy. Thursday was our 5 months. Yesterday we went out to eat and seen Dickie Roberts, it was funny lol.

Im getting my homecoming dress soon, but out whole "group" still hasnt made plans as to what were doing so who knows. Plus im scared to get the dress i want bc sumone else might have it.

Gabbie and Tim are back together, im so happy for them. I know what its like to have no one but ur boyfriend and all u want is them. I'd be lost without Jeremy. But thats another story...

Amber Heiler is telling me her plans for homecoming... im jealous. They sound fun. Shes having a party after.. she invited me and Jer but i doubt he'll want to go. She invited everyone else that goes with us too... but i doubt any of them will want to go either, so ill come home and sulk in boredom. Then rip my dress to pieces.

Me and Ana were gonna hang out today but i have to clean:/

Whoop thats all... sorry

*All the ways to die trying*

:)